Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
