trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
