I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize