Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
