Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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