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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.

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• (077): View more from

  it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  I don't want it.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this

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• (516): View more from New York

  i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.

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• (409): View more from Texas

  His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.

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