Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
