ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
