I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I am naked and annoyed.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
