I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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