Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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