Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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