Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
