her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
