And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize