Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
