Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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