yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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