I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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