So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
