I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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