So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
