you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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