you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
