so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
