If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
