i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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