I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
