i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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