that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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