i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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