yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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