I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
