i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
