And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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