he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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