Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
