I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
