i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
