this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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