you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
