she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
