Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
