she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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