:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize