I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
