someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
