My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
