"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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