Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize