i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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