you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
