we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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