so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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