yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
