Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The adults are the big ones right?
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