it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
