Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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