SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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