i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
