if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
