I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
