I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just had sex on a roof
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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