"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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