Grow some girl-balls and come out already
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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