We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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