People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
