JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
