Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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