Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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