...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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