What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize