alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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