Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
