we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize