D3 body, D1 cock
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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