Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
