I have demons in me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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